Despite the fact that the old saying goes “A man’s house is his castle,” it can feel more like a prison unless, as parents-both mother and father-and as responsible adults, we take the necessary measures to maintain a positive emotional and social balance within the home. Adults have their own needs, but of particular importance is the necessity to furnish a nurturing and positive environment for children.

Turning that mandate into a reality is, of course, a tricky matter that will vary from family to family and from parent to parent. What is for sure is that parents need to reinforce positive behavior in their children-and learn at the same time how to discourage negative behaviors that only serve to undermine a healthy and safe home…for all.

Lesson number one that parents must learn to this effect: nothing is better than leading by example. In the absence of such exemplary leadership, children will almost never respect their parents’ cajolings and insinuations as to what parts of their behavior are good and, likewise, what parts are bad, etc. In other words, to be able to foster positive attitudes on the one hand, and to be able to get their children to desist with bad attitudes on the other hand, it’s absolutely necessary for parents to practice what they preach. It’s an inconvenient situation for certain parents, but it’s an undeniable truth and a vital lesson for all parents.

With this concept thoroughly implanted in a parent’s mind, it then becomes necessary to refine one’s notion of what needs to be reinforced in a child: what aspects of a child’s behavior need to be reinforced from a young age in order for him or her to grow up into a happy, responsible and balanced adult? Yes, asking one’s self these sorts of questions is incredibly important and integral to good parenting.

It has proven to be quite beneficial to think of this rather serious matter in the following way, by breaking the matter down into three over-arching categories: which behaviors are good for the child itself; which behaviors will have a positive impact on the family as a whole; and which behaviors will have an ultimately positive effect on society as a whole, not only now but particularly later when that child becomes a regular adult citizen.

As seen from the first perspective described, that of the welfare of the child itself, parents need to focus on keeping the child constantly active–both mentally and physically. There’s another old saying which makes reference to healthy bodies and healthy minds, and there isn’t a person in the world that can achieve the one without the other.

As seen from the second perspective, that of the family as a whole and with particular emphasis on relationships between its members, it’s important that children remain actively involved with other members of the family and on generally good terms with them all (again, leading by example comes into play here as well). A practical strategy can be to encourage performing activities in groups rather than individually, though the necessity for this will largely depend on children’s specific personalities.

Finally, from the point of view of society at large, parents are responsible for encouraging commitment with the community and a readiness to show solidarity with the plight of others. Some parents try to do this through religious institutions, others through lay not-for-profit initiatives or simply goodwill; whichever the case, the burden lies on parents’ shoulders to ensure that their children are accepting of and kind to people of all backgrounds and creeds.

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